I Run a volunteer based organization that focuses on all 3 aspects of HG means everything to us at HGBDATA ( HG before during and the aftermath) Most of you that follow me have Hyperemesis Gravidarum or are in the aftermath of it and wonder if you have PPD ( postpartum depression) or PPA ( postpartum anxiety).

Having HG already throws all the cards out the window in pregnancy because HG is not a normal part of pregnancy. Having a happy healthy pregnancy, if you suffering from Hyperemesis Gravidarum your pregnancy is anything but happy . More like I want to kill myself I can not handle the pain and the sickness . There may be times you pray for a miscarriage. HG takes you in to the deepest darkest place of where your alone and isolated. HG changes you and scars you so to speak forever . Overcoming it can be very hard , I am still mentally scarred and emotionally get defensive on the subject when I have to put someone in there place laughing about HG . The pain the sickness I will never forget, I am still sick in the aftermath daily . I look in the mirror and see the physical change on my body and think what the hell happen to me? Where is the women I was ? I was beautiful, I was skinny , I was healthy . Being healthy and getting pregnant and not being able to go back to your old life or missing it can hit you hard and that’s when PPD and PPA take over even PTSD All are common in Hyperemesis Gravidarum , welcome to the aftermath.

My hair is falling out , my skin rough as sand paper and , my body is in starvation mode, no matter how I eat . I hate Food the smell of it , I don’t drink fluids because I start vomiting . I have chronic nausea and vomiting called Cyclic vomiting Syndrome and Gastroparesis and a severe mast cell Activation I’m allergic to everything now. My husband is my care taker , he does all of my IV care . From dressing changes , giving me IV hydration 24/7 and IV meds around the clock . I have anaphylactic reasons daily and Benadryl is what keeping me alive .

My hair when my roots are growing out are grey . My smile lines are deepen and of course all my teeth rotted from vomiting. This was so hard , when I was young in beauty pageants I always won best smile , everyone would call me miss million dollar smile, No one knew me by my first name just “ Hi Miss Million Dollar Smile “

I am still sick and reminded daily of what Hyperemesis Gravidarum has done to me and my child . I have a picc line and have to give myself Zofran in my iv and other medications , daily hydration and TPN . I don’t Have to worry about my teeth falling out because dentures are not real teeth it changes your life when you lose you teeth .

Having PPD /PPA / PTSD after Hyperemesis Gravidarum is real. Please know each of us suffer differently some symptoms can be different in each of you . People expecting for you to be well and get over what you just survived are not helping you in anyway . You can not snap your fingers and be well it doesn’t work that way .

PTSD after Hyperemesis Gravidarum is real . Flashbacks , constantly thinking it and it replays over and over again in your head . It’s vivid it’s scary and It can consume you so much you don’t want to get out of bed or care for your baby or even leave your home ! You start questioning why you did not die and guilt if you thought of having a therapeutic termination can be hard . I would look at my daughter and the guilt ate me up so badly . The doctors would not give me proper care , they don’t offer it. They want you to go away .

I vomited over 100+ times a day my eyes would bleed .

I had PTSD it consume me so much to a point I had a mental breakdown. The first time I got sick with the flu and wasn’t sure if it’s was that or food poisoning , I had a break down . I couldn’t do Hyperemesis Gravidarum again ….. it just to much ! I was on my knees screaming to god I can’t do this again ! Your not crazy to feel this way, By any means , do not let anyone question your feelings because they are real . It’s super important to see a doctor and start meds asap . PPD /PPA/PTSD can get really bad and go downhill fast like a run away train .

If You can’t sleep your mind is racing over and over . You don’t want to be touch by your husband/Boyfriend and fear to have sex because you don’t want to get pregnant and battle what you just survived . You may be all over the place one minute “ don’t touch my baby “ I went through hell not you ! At first I wouldn’t let anyone hold her we went though hell together she was mine .

If anyone touches your baby you may freak out and go postal. You may have days you don’t want to care for your baby because you don’t have the energy too and feel as if your not even the babies mother . You hear your baby cry but can’t pick your own child up because your a hot mess .

Even questioning why you lived and why you got such horrible medical care .

You feel like your scatterbrained , your hearts is racing , you hot your cold your shaking and can’t think . You are trying to push on but all of these symptoms are making you feel sick to your stomach .

Some PPD and PPA symptoms you can be feeling overwhelming

gulit , sadness , losing touch with who you are and even with reality. looking at your baby and either crying of overwhelming thoughts and not feeling like your the babies mother to hurting yourself or baby . Wishing you never got pregnant and wanting your old life back , every thought you question and feel no one understands how your feeling and by this you are isolating yourself even more and question would your baby be better off without you .

*** Seek help if you need help finding a doctor please reach out to me I want to help you ***

Please reach out to us at Hyperemesis Gravidarum Before During And The Aftermath ( HGBDATA) we like to support you and help you find the help and support you need . I run a support group on line on Facebook with the same name please find my group ! I am very blessed to have a team of moms who help me with HGBDATA as I vomit and are sick daily .

I did a medical conference where I talk about how mental health is so important during and in the aftermath of Hyperemesis Gravidarum you can find that video here : Hyperemesis Gravidarum and the aftermath mental health is so important

I had to do a video presentation because my illness is attacking and destroying my brain ☹️ multi system degeneration of the autonomic nervous system

I am going to share this other blog I really like and feel it’s important to share because this information can save a life with or without Hyperemesis Gravidarum many times when a mom is searching they don’t see this website, please read it over and remember everyone suffers differently.

One of my favorite websites and person on this subject is Katherine Stone who has changed the world on mental illness for mothers . I’m going to share her information from her website below . This is not my website that I am talking about, full credit of just plain mama english all goes too Katherine Stone who has changed the pathway for people to take this seriously.

Many websites will explain it in doctor terms , however Katherine way of addressing it I love .

This blog is awesome and explains it where you can understand the symptoms in detail . I feel this blog is so important for moms to read so I wanted to share what she explains about it . Now most of you who read my blog or follow my work , or getting support from my organization. I help mothers with Hyperemesis Gravidarum. I had such severe Hyperemesis Gravidarum that me and my baby almost died .

On Facebook I am known as a hardcore advocate and HG activist for Hyperemesis Gravidarum and the aftermath . Many of these same symptoms happen after Hyperemesis Gravidarum too , comment if you have a question or email me or find me on Facebook so I can help you find the right answer to your questions and get you help and support !! If wanting to reach out to Katherine Stone please contact me .

Below you will find Katherine Stone explain it in good old mama English.

To visit Katherine website please go to:

http://www.postpartumprogress.com/the-syof-postpartum-mptoms-depression-anxiety-in-plain-mama-english

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PPD DO I HAVE IT OR AM I JUST CRAZY STARR ?

———————————You are not crazy this is not all in your head so to speak this subject is so taboo and shouldn’t be .

-What does it feel like to have postpartum depression or postpartum anxiety? 

-What are the signs or symptoms? 

-How do you know when you have it? And if you do have it, what should you do?

Below we will explain the signs of postpartum depression and anxiety, but in what she calls “plain mama English.” She won’t use words like hypomania or dysthymia—the kind of confusing terms you might see elsewhere. She will use the words thousands of other moms have used who have already been through this. Words that make sense. After that, we’ll give you some links to some really helpful resources she has and information. You are not alone. At Postpartum Progress they are great because they understand and we’re happy to help promote their website as it will save moms lives .

When you read the two different symptoms lists below, one for postpartum depression and the one after it for postpartum anxiety and OCD, please remember a few very important things:

1. You may not be experiencing all of the symptoms listed below or even most of them. Postpartum depression and anxiety are not “one-size-fits-all” illnesses. Your experience may include just a few of the symptoms and you may not have others at all.

2. Many people have a feeling like the ones listed below every now and then, for a day or two. We all have bad days. Postpartum depression and anxiety are not just bad days. Women with PPD or anxiety have symptoms like these most of the time, for a period of at least 2 weeks or longer, and these symptoms make it feel very hard to live your life each day.

3. Postpartum depression and anxiety are sometimes “comorbid.”  This means you can have a bit of both, or all of both. If you have symptoms on both lists, that’s not unusual.

Postpartum Depression Symptoms

Okay.  Here we go. You may have postpartum depression if you have had a baby within the last 12 months and are experiencing some of these symptoms:

•You feel overwhelmed. Not like “hey, this new mom thing is hard.” More like “I can’t do this and I’m never going to be able to do this.” You feel like you just can’t handle being a mother. In fact, you may be wondering whether you should have become a mother in the first place.

•You feel guilty because you believe you should be handling new motherhood better than this. You feel like your baby deserves better. You worry whether your baby can tell that you feel so bad, or that you are crying so much, or that you don’t feel the happiness or connection that you thought you would. You may wonder whether your baby would be better off without you.

•You don’t feel bonded to your baby. You’re not having that mythical mommy bliss that you see on TV or read about in magazines. Not everyone with postpartum depression feels this way, but many do.

•You can’t understand why this is happening. You are very confused and scared.

•You feel irritated or angry. You have no patience. Everything annoys you. You feel resentment toward your baby, or your partner, or your friends who don’t have babies. You feel out-of-control rage.

•You feel nothing. Emptiness and numbness. You are just going through the motions.

•You feel sadness to the depths of your soul. You can’t stop crying, even when there’s no real reason to be crying.

•You feel hopeless, like this situation will never ever get better. You feel weak and defective, like a failure.

•You can’t bring yourself to eat, or perhaps the only thing that makes you feel better is eating.

•You can’t sleep when the baby sleeps, nor can you sleep at any other time. Or maybe you can fall asleep, but you wake up in the middle of the night and can’t go back to sleep no matter how tired you are. Or maybe all you can do is sleep and you can’t seem to stay awake to get the most basic things done. Whichever it is, your sleeping is completely screwed up and it’s not just because you have a newborn.

•You can’t concentrate. You can’t focus. You can’t think of the words you want to say. You can’t remember what you were supposed to do. You can’t make a decision. You feel like you’re in a fog.

•You feel disconnected. You feel strangely apart from everyone for some reason, like there’s an invisible wall between you and the rest of the world.

•Maybe you’re doing everything right. You are exercising. You are taking your vitamins. You have a healthy spirituality. You do yoga. You’re thinking “Why can’t I just get over this?” You feel like you should be able to snap out of it, but you can’t.

•You might be having thoughts of running away and leaving your family behind. Or you’ve thought of driving off the road, or taking too many pills, or finding some other way to end this misery.

•You know something is wrong. You may not know you have a perinatal mood or anxiety disorder, but you know the way you are feeling is NOT right. You think you’ve “gone crazy.”

•You are afraid that this is your new reality and that you’ve lost the “old you” forever.

•You are afraid that if you reach out for help people will judge you. Or that your baby will be taken away.

Postpartum Anxiety & OCD

You may have postpartum anxiety or postpartum OCD if you have had a baby within the last 12 months and are experiencing some of these symptoms:

•Your thoughts are racing. You can’t quiet your mind. You can’t settle down. You can’t relax.

•You feel like you have to be doing something at all times. Cleaning bottles. Cleaning baby clothes. Cleaning the house. Doing work. Entertaining the baby. Checking on the baby.

•You are worried. Really worried. All. The. Time. Am I doing this right? Will my husband come home from his trip? Will the baby wake up? Is the baby eating enough? Is there something wrong with my baby that I’m missing? No matter what anyone says to reassure you, it doesn’t help.

•You may be having disturbing thoughts. Thoughts that you’ve never had before. Scary thoughts that make you wonder whether you aren’t the person you thought you were. They fly into your head unwanted and you know they aren’t right, that this isn’t the real you, but they terrify you and they won’t go away. These thoughts may start with the words “What if …”

•You are afraid to be alone with your baby because of scary thoughts or worries. You are also afraid of things in your house that could potentially cause harm, like kitchen knives or stairs, and you avoid them like the plague.

•You may feel the need to check things constantly. Did I lock the door? Did I lock the car? Did I turn off the oven? Is the baby breathing?

•You may be having physical symptoms like stomach cramps or headaches, shakiness or nausea. You might even have panic attacks.

•You feel like a captive animal, pacing back and forth in a cage. Restless. On edge.

•You can’t eat. You have no appetite.

•You’re having trouble sleeping. You are so, so tired, but you can’t sleep.

•You feel a sense of dread, like something terrible is going to happen.

•You know something is wrong. You may not know you have a perinatal mood or anxiety disorder, but you know the way you are feeling is NOT right. You think you’ve “gone crazy.”

•You are afraid that this is your new reality and that you’ve lost the “old you” forever.

•You are afraid that if you reach out for help people will judge you. Or that your baby will be taken away.

Now that you’ve gone through these lists, are you thinking, “How the heck does this lady know me? Is there a hidden camera in here?” Nope. What this should tell you is that you are not alone and you are not a freak and you are not highly unusual. If you are having these feelings and symptoms then it is possible you are experiencing common illnesses that 15 to 20% of new mothers have, and they are completely treatable. We’re happy to be here to support you.

Postpartum Depression Help

Postpartum Progress is a nonprofit created by moms for moms with maternal mental illness. We know what it’s like and we know how hard it is. Here are some of our best resources for moms with postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety and related illnesses:

•List of postpartum depression treatment specialists and programs. We find that if possible it helps to see someone who has more experience treating women with these illnesses.

•List of postpartum depression support groups.

•Our description of the six stages of postpartum depression, or what it feels like as you progress through this illness.

•A list of some of our top postpartum depression stories, organized in categories so you can find and read stories about moms just like you.

•What recovery from PPD does NOT look like, so you know what to focus on and what not to focus on as you get better.

•To learn more about how Postpartum Progress can help you, click here.

 Other Things You Should Know

•If you are pregnant and are having symptoms similar to those listed above, you should know that you aren’t unusual either. You may have depression or anxiety during pregnancy, which is just as common.

•If you are having the symptoms listed above, call your doctor. There is no need to suffer alone. Don’t try to wait this out. Perinatal mood and anxiety disorders are temporary and treatable with professional help.

•If you are already past the first year postpartum and still suffering, you could still have postpartum depression or anxiety. Perhaps you never reached out for help in the first year and you are still struggling. Call your doctor. You can still get help for this.

•One last but very important thing: If you are having moments where it seems like you can see or hear things no one else does, if you are feeling paranoid as if others are out to get you, if you are feeling that you or your baby are somehow related to the devil or God in some way, or if you are having thoughts of harming yourself or others, it’s important to reach out for help right now. These symptoms require immediate attention as they could be signs of postpartum psychosis. If you have these symptoms, your illness has the potential to take over and lead you to do things that you wouldn’t normally do. In order to avoid that it is important to reach out for help right away so that trained professionals can help you get stabilized and healthy.

Please visit her website at :

http://www.postpartumprogress.com/the-syof-postpartum-mptoms-depression-anxiety-in-plain-mama-english

Please know you are not alone , it can be scary , everyone suffers differently so no one is textbook !

You can find our website , my blog here and my videos on YouTube . I run a support group on Facebook and we have one for us that covers the before the During and aftermath . One for the aftermath of our children with aftermath issues , and a group for all the Dad’s out there !

Sister Starr Andrews Strong HG Activist

Founder of HG Before During And The Aftermath

You can find my website at : Hyperemesis Gravidarum Before During And The Aftermath

You can google search my name or organization name Hyperemesis Gravidarum Before During And The Aftermath to find all of my awareness on Hyperemesis Gravidarum in the before the during and the aftermath .

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*The website I speak of that is not my website or written work all that Credit is to : Courtesy of :

Katherine Stone

http://www.postpartum process.com

Katherine has change the views of mental illness with mothers and has won many awards and been on TV along with being recognize by webMD and more . I encourage you after reading this blog to visit her website at : http://www.postpartum process.com